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While sitting in Umeå at Café Mekka, folding loppas for the MADE festival, I meet a lovely woman named Tove. She is working with psychotherapy, likes to dance and is planning a wedding, and we have a chat about the importance of meetings. When and how do they occur? Can we choreograph them? What is the role of movement in meetings and relations?

We talked about the concept that Joel brought up in Gothenburg; positive distraction as a means of helping a conversation out of a locked situation. And about people working professionaly with meetings and conversation, but who are unable to manage meetings on a private level. In psychotherapy this could be compared to the notion of object of transition, that we need something else to focus on in order to get to the point.

Tove mentioned something very interesting about giving; I asked her to give a no logo bag to someone close, and she asked "how do I give something to someone who has been tought to not recieve? Someone who wants to recieve a gift but says no? I see this in people in all ages, especially men, they think that they shouldn't recieve."

Is it the fear of meeting a content that is not known? Is it jealousy of her having an interesting meeting with me? Tove said that jealousy is everywhere, and that is a kind of block inbetween people, as opposed to positive distraction, which is somehow in front of us, something to commonly focus on, to share and approach. The difference of a static facing-each-other situation, and a more parallell situation where we walk together in one direction or another.  We agree that a very practical approach, namely that she can give the bag and claim the environmental advantage compared to plastic bags. That should be the right distraction for this particular person in order for him to be able to recieve..

We discuss the importance of play, and different games that could be used at the wedding. I give Tove seven bags for her seven children, table tennis balls and the task to come up with a game for the wedding, and I very much hope to see her during the Umeå meeting. It's like a little fairytale!

Tove, please tell me what kind of games you constructed for the wedding!